Fuck off, Fat!

1:02 p.m. update

eaten a wrap from mcdonalds + fries +coke zero  (purged)
water
walked halfhour
banana
pizza (purged)
2 smokes
30 minute walk
peach
chicken broth



im such a fucking fatass. do you not understand how much I want to get away and be invisible? No one AT ALL would notice I'm gone.

So far..

11:16 p.m. update

movie theater popcorn and 2 mouthfulls fruitopia
Water.
Lg triple triple

walked for 30 minutes,
walked for 54 minutes

burned 533 ...i think it was more but thats what the internet said. my legs kill and it was far and SO fast.

goal declarations.

8 days including today until school - i can loose 8 pounds. lets do this shit.
today is water fast,
tomorrow is water fast
water fast water fast water fast water fast
if i need to, some liquids generally.

1 cup of water every hour regardless.
1 mug of tea/day




i will reach 140 by christmas.
130 by march break/next summer depending

the treadmill comes on the 15th - I probably won't get off it.



KEEP CALM AND DON'T BINGE.

Perfection.

29th of August = 10:00 a.m. - 9:00 a.m. (30th)

***1 "rep" = 10 crunches, 10 left side crunches, 10 right side crunches, 10 crunches arms up, 10 side leg lifts, 10 other side leg lifts, 10 leg lifts, 10 lunges, 10 squats. 


hard candies,
3 pieces pizza (small slices)
rockstar energy drink
bologna
sweet chili heat doritos chips

2 reps
walked for 1hr 11mins + 1 hour 30 minutes + 30 minutes +


Fuck this. I want to be perfect.


p.s. i made a new tumblr for thinspo: http://simplythinspo.tumblr.com/



why couldn't you just love me instead?

I Give Up. I Missed You, Ana

Eaten 
banana ,
apple ,
green tea ,
water ,
whole-wheat pasta with sauce and beef and onions 


Excersized
nothing so far, at least yoga and a million lunges later,

Did I Have To Cut?
Two cuts today.

Thinspiration

I just want to be you, that's too much to ask for.

Hello Again.

Eaten/Drank/Smoked
1 coffee
1/2 teriyaki chicken and noodle bowl (out with a friend)
ice cream cone (out with a friend)

total calories: probably above 500 with sauces and stuff..

Excersized
walked in the mall for 3 hrs,
-980 calories

planned to do some lunges/squats and stretching before bed tonight.


Thinspo: 
\


Mood
I'm not perfect. Why can't I be perfect?

no excuses.

Eaten
binge on hotdogs, cheerios, strawberries, bacon.  (purged)
perogies and a muffin
pack of licorice
sushi with friend (purged)

total calories: 650+450+300 = 1400
gah.

Excersized
walked half an hour -161
200 squats and lunges before bed.


Thinspo



Mood
can i call this bulimia now? all i do is throw up and i hate it. id rather get out of this spiral where all i think about is food. im eating because of stress - i know that. and not using it as an excuse either.

Living...Barely

Eaten
marble slab ice cream,
burger and salad (purged)
cheesecake cup
cheerios and a muffin (purged)

total calories: still far too many.

Excersized
work -351
walked 2hrs -653

total: -1004

Thinspiration

Mood
definatly not okay.

Can't Beat Em, Join Em.

Eaten
7 strawberries
ribs&mashed potatoes&2slices bread
crackers
movie theater popcorn (no butter)
food out (chicken, beef and veggies)
timothy's iced coffee...stuff lol.

total calories:too many

Excersized
-356+ calories from work
designing my own workout plan today, so hopefully that'll get underway.

-904 calories (mall walking + 520 ab and leg excersizes)

GRAND TOTAL:  1260+
Thinspo

Help, I'm Alive.

Eaten/Drank/Smoked
french toast  10:00 a.m.
1 smoke - 12:30 p.m.
pasta and sausage
binge on Froot Loops
crackers


Excersized
6.2 km walk. Boiling hot .. took me 73 mins.
-461 calories.

if you count sleeping, that's  -544 calories too.


Thinspiration



Mood
I can't call this anorexia. I'm not anorexic. I need to stop eating like an effin regular person - it's getting me nowhere.

Weak. Goal?

155lbs - my shoes that i'm in love with


Eaten
sausage&veggies&pasta
DQ - ice cream that's mostly milk...
out for dinner - stir fry with noodles and chicken

Calories: about 700+

Excersized
Walked for 30 mins so far,

-193

Thinspo





Mood
managed to have a smoke at midnight or so last night/this morning. I just kept saying "what have i done?"
I. Must. Be. Skinny.

Too Much...

feelin worthless .


Eaten/Smoked/Drank
...close to 6 cups of coffee i think
Diet Dr.Pepper
granola and yogurt,
bread
chicken and ketchup

Calories: ....500 something? :s

Excersized
walked for 30 minutes

-193 calories


Thinspiration





Mood
1:37 - not having any other liquids today besides water. totally liquid-ed out.
I'm feeling worthless, like I'm never good enough. I wish I could be your girl.

7:54 p.m. I just want to be skinny, is that too much to ask? too much annoyance non-food-related and I'm completely binging out, and i completely hate it. no control. sooo bad. im never good enough, so why do i want to drown my sorrows in a big bowl of cheerios?

Mistakes.

Eaten:
(out for breakfast...)
french toast, hash browns, eggs and apples
(came home)
kept eating...
spoonful of nutella, 10 chips, coffee, 1/2cup corn&carrots

total calories: close to 600-700 i think .

Excersized:
three hours walking, -1,158

Thinspiration


I could have done so much better. I'm a screw up, and I'm never good enough for anything.
August doesn't deserve to be my bitch, anyone deserves better then me.
Ana does too.

Plus One

gained a pound from the stupid binge yesterday :/ that wasn't even a binge! >.<
I'm going out with a friend for breakfast sometime this week, hopefully that'll be okay...


Eaten
totally dont want to list it.
+1000 calories. no binge.

Excersized
Swam for 2hrs,
badminton for 2hrs
1 hr hike at the gorge

total calories burned: 2,140 ...


Thinspiration



Mood
as weird as this is going to sound, i kind of want to go to the doctor's just to see what they'd diagnose me with...bipolar, depressed, anorexic. whatever? idk, i think it would be silly.
I'm def NOT going besides to get ADD pills - which apparantally curb hunger.